Jusss me

2011-01-02T18:16:00.003+08:00

MOVED TO LIVEJOURNAL

XOXO

2010-12-11T23:08:00.002+08:00

It's probably not too early to list down my resolutions for 2011.

I will be away after 15th, won't be back till next year.

Nothing big, but it's good. I need a getaway anyway.

2010 has been horrendous,

it was the year I expected so much from

then again there's no way I'm regretting whatever I did,

cos at that point in time, that's what I wanted.

Perhaps things would have been better if I've thought through it even thoroughly then I had,

but things for me are always crazy and I've never learnt my lesson only till the last minute.

2011, I shall make sure everything goes the way it's supposed to be, if not perfect.

2011, I want things to be smooth and self-explanatory, nothing mind-blowing or draining.

2011, I shall get my goals brought forward since 2 years ago, achieved.

2011, you'll be good to me.

Amin.

For now, I'm done with the year.

Till we meet again next year, Happy Holidays.

XOXO, Raudaah♥

2010-11-27T00:10:00.004+08:00

It seems like life feeds on itself. Memories eating memories, fire eating land, animals in the slaughterhouse scream, the rain comes and washes it all away and besides I am trying to remember who it is that I am in love today. How can we feel so much ? I had no idea my heart was capable of anything near what it has been through. It gets beat and softened up, plump and full of hope and desire. We all have broken hearts, and we have all had our hearts broken. This is what we do with what is left. This is damage control, this is picking through the rubble.

Let’s keep this a secret. Let’s not. Growth, drowning, boiling hot showers, speaking as if you know how to speak. Shut up, the half ugly, half pretty, fill the room. I’m almost given up, and have been given up on. I've built something that from the start will surely fall down.

Someone show me a way, to delete these emotions, erase all thoughts.

2010-11-21T22:24:00.001+08:00

2010-11-15T13:49:00.002+08:00

Between you and me,

there's just so much to say but I chose to keep it within.

This birthday, I'm just gonna wish for one thing.

For you to stay, with me, always.

I never believed in forever,

but since you've been here, I've never been happier.

♥♥

2010-11-08T20:06:00.001+08:00

There's a million and one things going through my mind,
I just don't know where to start.

2010-11-05T21:56:00.002+08:00

Life's so fragile.
The word vulnerable is giving me goosebumps, perhaps because of this unpredictability that makes me feel so disturbed I've never felt this way before.

Picture above, my cousins from the dad's side.
And there's more missing from the picture. And let me tell you this, I don't usually talk about my dad's side because we all kinda have different frequency to life, all of us have different backgrounds to begin with, and there's more I don't have to elaborate.

But thing is, however different all of us are, there's this special element I finally realised in this big family. It's this "how far you may be but I'm always your cousin" thing. And wherever there's any gathering, emergency, all of us will be there counting on each other, silently.

And today, cousin's coma taught me a very important lesson.
The one that I never thought would be of course this unpredictable.
Well you see, he fell in the toilet, non-stop skull bleeding, and half his body is paralysed and now his in coma with half brain dead.

I'm so disturbed for the fact that he's young and I know I should stop thinking that only old people die (haha) but really never expected it to happen to someone so close to me. Plus the fact that I'm very emotional, little thoughts made me tear, his close friends, his girlfriend especially eh tell me what I'll do if it happens to my boyfriend. I'll probably kill myself, kidding but still oh my god I should just stop thinking now.

So please please Oh God, please keep him strong, let him live.
I'm praying for his best, for him to continue fighting for his life, and hopefully my friends, pray for the best for him to aye, because, really he means so much to me.

Doctor gave him 48 hours, but I hope he's strong enough to fight through this, have an artificial skull and continue living well hopefully as close to normal as it used to be.
Amin.

XX

2010-11-04T10:13:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna think about how everything started,
don't really care how everything doesn't seem to fall into place at times.
But I do know that everytime when I think bout chu,
I get all smiles, big colourful butterflies and a lifetime of bright stars blinking in my eye.

2010-11-02T22:31:00.002+08:00

To my dearest girl, here's a post specially for you.
For all the times we had fun together, from the start right to the end,
how we always have this love-hate relationship,
i sometimes do really feel like killing you, then again it'll be different without you in my life.

You've been the sunshine, the greatest sun that shines in my life
and never, ever even if I could turn back the clock, will I regret knowing you.
Cos you showed me life in a different light.
The one light that inspires and keep me thinking wondering and always, feeling lucky to have you around.

Happy Birthday my dear,
Have confidence, and trust yourself cos I know you'll do well for O's.
Those hardwork will not go to waste, I promise.
Now you and I, friends forever, pinky swear?

Love you,
mucho lifetime of sweet candies,
Princess

2010-10-28T22:03:00.006+08:00

It's gonna be a long post, so bear with it.
My dearest Underground Crew, this is for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
Will we still be as sticky as the glue?

It's never gonna be the same now that I wont be training in Bishan anymore,
things will be so different,
no more little tiny fight talks we used to have,
how we apologized for a minor accidental kicks during training,
getting angry over small gossips,
yet at the same time all of us remained true,
remained as one crew.

Those times when I fought, the motivation, the cheers,
the camps we struggled in,
morning run and hardcore major inner struggle
the bitchiness going around we had to internally suffer,

it's these small little bitter-sweet things that now,
became a memory, wrapped around this heart,
promise, to never let it go.

If one day I'll go over to another center, I may be your rival,
but deep inside, you guys are the friends I made, the ones that stood by me, through fights the tears and blood, literally hahaha, all praises to the Almighty for giving me a chance to get to know you guys, cos really, you people are nothing but the stars that made me who I am today.

The strong, confident Raudah who is not afraid to fight for the crew.
Because you people exist.

Keep the team spirit going.
If not for the circumstances that goes beyond my capabilities, I would have stayed. You guys have seen the ugly side of me, the cranky evil side of me I revealed once in a while, the little monstrous talent I bring it out wherever I want to win so much, that tiny feeling of nervousness, a tinge of fear that you people never fail to cover it with your lifetime bottle of honey-coated words and hugs.

My little bitch, gotta admit even if its the longest time since we met,
we're never out of words, there's so much I have in common with you,
perhaps first impression doesnt really count eh. How we met was bizarre, but this friendship you and I share, is beyond Silat trainings and competitions. It's something I will and always say to everyone, She's my girl, my best rival.

My babe, you on the other hand knows so much more about me,
you spotted every little wrong details and made it right for me.
And when I cry, you'll cry, literally.
That's why I love you so much. Hahaha,
for always being there since we were 5, we may now not meet so often anymore,
but Silat was another thing we shared together,
which I never, ever want to forget.
Cos in my eyes, you are your own best fighter. :)

Nur Ain, you've been my motivation since we started as friends.
You never knew this, but you made me stronger, you put up hope for all of us, you made me as strong as you can ever help me with, You, have been my greatest inpiration.
We may not train together anymore, but continue being the best, because one day, when you succeed, I want to be just like you, my babe.

It's beyond words, really to express how much gratitude I have towards you guys.
UC, you've been my every Saturday, my every sacrifice and fun I kept away from so as to see you people together for a little more than just a fun training, but this thing called team.

Yesterday, might be the last time we trained.
Last year might be the last year we travelled for Singapore as a team.
But tomorrow, you guys will always be the UC I know.

Things crumble, everything changes,
but these sweet memories, are meant to assure me that,
these few years have been worthwhile.

Now keep fighting, and go Bishan North!!

If ever I am lost, in UC I find myself.
Sincerely, from my sister and I.

2010-10-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

I know I said I don't wanna blog anymore till A's are over but somehow it feels empty without having a chance to blog for at least once a week. Plus it's these mixed emotions I'm feeling right now, I don't really know if it's just the time of the month or what I saw on someone's blog that made me feel so annoyed now and yes, a selfish part of me wish she wasn't so lucky.
Then again internet's a bitch we gotta learn to accept.

Life's okay for now, definitely.
As long as I have my girls, I know everything's gonna be alright.

Z, on the other hand has been a great companion.
Spent the whole of Wednesday with him, over to the beach, then our first movie date ever hahahaha believe it or not, then Keppel Bay for some breath-taking scenery. No, not really cos we were out of ideas on where to go. And after watching paranormal activity 2, we decided going Fort canning was a bad idea. LOL.

And that was exactly 12 hours with him.
Enough to keep me from missing him for awhile hahaha.

Won't tell anybody, how you turned my world around.
I don't need a parachute baby, if I've got you.

2010-10-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

Life's good.
Perhaps I should take a lil break from blogging for awhile till A's are over.
Till then, take care my lovely readers. (:

2010-10-04T23:24:00.005+08:00

Absolutely nothing good can come out of overthinking things.
And that's what I've been doing for the past weeks, proven: useless.

Exams are over and it feels like there's nothing much to study,
but much to your realisation, there's actually plenty to do, within a month before A's arrive.
And believe it or not, I am actually aiming to get an A which of course seems right now, impossible.

The condensed timetable, with only three subjects everyday,
is nothing but draining and strenuous, I could bang my head on the wall anytime soon.

Can't wait for the 11th of Nov to be over, when everything gets better hopefully,
when freedom kicks in, and no more studying till January.
Till then, I'll be busy with school and more hectic schedules.

But of course, Raya's now over, managed to sqeeuze some time with friends,
and well let's just say I should be sleeping now but I'm blogging.
Cut all the hassle, here's some pictures. (:

Raya with 09A1

Raya with my favourite girls.
Drove them around to each of our houses.
Alhamdullilah, we're still safe and sound hahaha

Till then, xoxo

2010-09-26T16:07:00.001+08:00

Major Party Sessions.
Raya Outings.
Catch-up dates with my babies.
Life's good.

Couldn't ask for more.
You, kept my smile going.

2010-09-20T22:15:00.002+08:00

I have a strong urge to scream now,
I feel like crying.
Two more days till exams are over,
but this is just how strong I am.

You've been my pillar of strength,
and I need more now that things are beginning to crumble.
In need to party soon.

2010-09-19T19:40:00.003+08:00

It's funny how nothing changes everyday,
but when you looked back, things were so different.

Somehow this four girls were there for me,
for 13 years of my life, and I'm glad today,
even with oh-so-many changes in our lives,
we sticked by each other.

And till we're old, we'll still roam around in our posh cars,
we'll be godmummy and goddaddy to our sons and daughters,
and still laugh over silly jokes.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin (:

2010-09-15T16:17:00.004+08:00

It's just this weird feeling,
I won't call it adrenaline rush cos I wasn't excited,
but it's this fear, I can't describe how strong this feeling is.

Maybe one day I'll find out,
till then it remains within.

This Raya means alot to me, knowing that I've gotten my driving license,
drove around the whole town, and still alive hahaha
Alhamdullilah all I wanna achieve now is a good pass for my exams,
get promoted and do well for A levels this year.
Insyallah, I can get th A I want.

I sound so pious hahaha nah I think I'm just very sleepy now.
Can't wait to meet my 18th babies this weekend.
And yes, once exams are over next week, I can enjoy a little.
Well just don't remind me A's are in 2 months time :/

My favourite picture for the day.
I cuter. No? Hee

2010-09-13T18:34:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday Dearest Ibu.
I don't think I'm gonna write much,
told ya what I needed to say,
nothing to worry cos I'll never let you down.

We'll lead our lives exactly the way it is,
I'll stay being your bestfriend,
and you'll stay being my Mum.

I love you.
Since the day I'm born,
till today, thank you, for everything.

2010-09-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin.

2010-09-08T02:03:00.001+08:00

Funny how I used to be head over heels over you,
And yet now that I bumped into you, I wish I hadn't, I wish we never knew each other, cos seriously, do I really have bad taste in guys?

Hahah, in a way whatever now, it feels love isn't one of my excellency in life, and imma run away far from it. It's better to feel empty, then later to feel broken. Call me pessimistic, but I choose to believe in "better be safe than sorry."

For now, I shall study smart and excel promos, get to year 3 and get school done and over with before I enrol myself into Uni. Insyaallah.

Till then,
XOXO

2010-09-05T13:01:00.002+08:00

It's been bugging my mind every min of my life,
try not to laugh when I say I'm in love,
cos I think I am and shite no I don't want to be in this.
Waiting for your sms kills the anticipation, my heart flutters,
my mind goes all whirling, and my hands turned arctic
cause I expect everything to turn out flawless.

Truth is, things are always bizarre,
and I can never find a perfect meaning to what I'm feeling now.
It's this unpredictability you and I share that keeps our friendship as it is,
funny yet ambiguous. I don't know where we start from,
where we left, and how we're gonna take it from here.
But all I know is I think I'm falling deeper into the black hole.

2010-09-02T22:40:00.007+08:00

Sometimes, one needs a slap on his face before realising that things don't always go their way.
It's a harsh reality we gotta swallow with a pinch of salt.
And for me, it took me two years before I realised that you've been such a great friend throughout the drought and storms.

Dearest Mythili,
I know you're in the plane now, 2 more hours to go before you reached India.
I'm still wondering why India over every other places, still,
I wish you all the best in striving for an excellent future.
So go and score as the best lawyer there,
come back as an Indian scholar (this sounds funny HAHA)
and really, for the brightest smile everyday in school,
I believe things will work out fine in your new boarding school,
and you'll find new friends just as nice as us here.
Perhaps not as pretty la, but good enough Myth.

Gahh, I'm already missing you now that you're gone.
No more of your nonsense and me being annoyed with your laughter and freaking annoying voice in class, but then again it'll be good.

Can't wait to see you again,
3 years, I'm counting down.

I'm tearing while blogging this, sucha crybaby
your mum was telling us that we could come over anytime,
and I sure will. So no worries of us here, we'll be fine doing our A's,
so enjoy yourself there
get a good Indian boyfriend and introduce some hot Indian guys to me.
Hot ah, I repeat.

And I figure out you must be reading our scrapbook we made,
the gifts and letters we wrote now in the plane.
When you're down, those items shall be your companion.
The ones that soothes you to sleep.
You're strong and time flies.
So we'll meet again soon.

I'll miss you, always.

(Though you're sucha bitch, you didnt even wish us good luck for our Promos starting tmrw, and there we were crying for you at the airport just now!!
Shouldn't have cried! Bitch.)

Till we meet again.
Princess, xoxo

2010-09-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

#14- Someone you've drifted away from

We've promised to make this work, and I believe we're never going apart.
Maybe drifted, but I'm sure this friendship is strong enough to withstand this storm.

Meanwhile, I reckon you'll do your best for your coming exams,
I'm gonna pray for the best,
and we'll meet real soon, Dian.

Much Love,
Your Princess.
Xoxo

2010-08-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

You made my day.
♥♥♥

2010-08-27T22:34:00.003+08:00

My boy.

Even after screaming my ass off for throwing all his toys in my room all the time,
always snatching the tv control from me to watch repeated Ben 10 series,
calling me Raudah instead of Kakak,
often annoying my life out, still
I love you babyboy.

Happy 6th birthday!
I pray the very best for you everyday,
may you grow up hot and handsome,
smart and charming.
Amin

♥♥♥

ps. He's wearing baju kurong cos he's preparing to go for prayers (terawih) at the mosque with my dad. I think he's just gonna be a nuisance there. Hahahaha

2010-08-27T21:36:00.004+08:00

I will never, in a million years trade anything for these girls.

Iftar with my lovely girls and their boys gave me time to catch up on their lives,
yet another chapter of jokes and gossips
and I truly believe this friendship I have,
is nothing but more than tons of gold.

A pity Zamri was working, or it would have been a perfect day out.
Nevertheless, all of us are looking forward to more exciting outings, yes?

Xoxo.

2010-08-27T20:55:00.006+08:00

Youth Olympic Games 2010.

YOG has been a topic of discussion everywhere,
and well, it's good. In a way.

I distracted the teachers in class with some YOG topics and they'll start talking all about it and forgot that we've digressed. That's the least I could do to kill boredom in class.
But whatever.
Had a great time at Bishan Stadium watching the ~~athletes~~ events.
I'm so inspired by it, I miss track and field so much in secondary school
I wish I could turn back time.

On an even brighter note,
Their timing; impressive.
The spirit; even remarkable.
Plus I had great fun with my classmates, letting our eyes strayed afar on all the hot bods
and it ended with spectacular fireworks and amazing wows from the spectators. (:

I hope to represent Singapore in Silat one day. :)

2010-08-27T20:41:00.002+08:00

#13- Someone you wish could forgive you

I don't particularly know of anyone who is begging for my apologies.
As of now, I'm glad things are going well.
Even with the ups and more often, downs in life,
I've learnt that things don't always turn out the way you want it to be.
And if in anyway I've hurt or upset anyone, I'm sorry.

Things happen.
I may have been the worst person on Earth,
broke some friendships and betrayed what I thought was a sweetdream,
but hopefully now even if we have drifted far away from each other,
there holds no place for grudges.

To that, may your lives be blessed,
may everything turns out right.

Xoxo,
Princess

2010-08-20T22:08:00.008+08:00

Sucks when you know you have so much to do, but there's so little time left.
Exams are in exactly 3 weeks, wake up girl you gotta start studying.
But stubbornly, my weekends are always filled with plans.

Last week, I managed to squeeze some time for my little mischievious clique.
Broke fast together at Sultan @Bussorah, then shisha over at Aladin's. (Y)
That's a tradition, to shisha every of our birthdays. Hahaha.

We played cards, we shared jokes.
We sang, we made fun of each other.
They made me miss RP so much,
but somehow I'm glad even with our busy schedules,
we managed to catch up with each other once in a while.

It's just Awesome, keep this coming. :)

2010-08-18T23:09:00.002+08:00

#12- Someone you don't talk much to as much as you would like

Haha this is a funny question cos sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough for this or that person,
if I made a new friend, would he/she be able to love me for who I am, or even if anyone would love to be friends with me.

I tend to stare at strangers subconsciously thinking if things were different, if we were friends,
or if I have a chance to talk to you, what would it be like.
But somehow I realised things happen for a reason.
And there's always Mummy to remind me that you never know when things will change so show how much you appreciate a person by telling it to them right away.
Thank God for that cos I guess for now, how bitter life may be,
people whom I'm close with, still are and I'm thankful how things turned out to be.
No matter how bad it sounds.

So yes, no regrets.
Cos whoever I need to talk to, I thank God, they are always there for me.
Anytime of the day.

xoxo,
Princess

2010-08-14T11:44:00.002+08:00

I've so many overdued assignments to be done.
I've yet to recover from my last exam, and in 3 weeks time,
I have to sit for another major one.
I'm so tired, I wish I could stop the time.

Notice the I, cos I'm probably only thinking about myself.
I knw everyone else who are studying so hard, more tired than I am,
and sitting for a bigger important paper,
but sigh there's no motivation to keep me going.

I have piles of paper right infront of my eyes,
but look what I'm doing now.
and plus fasting makes me even more tired,
touch trainings, and my miraculous brains doesnt stop thinking over I dunno what.

On a happier note,
can't wait to break fast with th cliques,
celebrate Raya with them,
and drive around town!

Daddy says we'll survey cars on Sunday.
Not gonna put my hopes up high though,
for all I know he's lying -.-

That's how bitter life is now,
but thank god for my girls cos they are there to keep the smile curved up.

2010-08-08T22:35:00.004+08:00

#11- Person that has caused you most pain

They say, the person who caused you the most pain is the one that loves you most.
Indeed my life was perfect for a moment in time,
till things had to crumble, everything falls apart and yes I choose to be ignorant about it now.

But through all those sorrows and woes,
I wish you ran more than a mile to make things work,
but sadly I choose to believe that fate brought us together, only to tear us apart later.

Throughout those times we were close,
whatever being said by anyone else,
I'm glad we worked things out, we made a kind of union, no one could ever experienced.
Cos I'm sure what we had, were hopefully, as special to you as it is to me.

Many a time you put my hopes up high,
you spared some light in my eye,
only to make me realized it's all lies.

But hey, things got so different now,
I guess my friends were right.
You and I were never meant for each other.

Whatever happened, good or bad, there's nothing more to reminisce.
I'm glad this phase is over, things are getting better.

Between you and me,
we know what we promised.
Things may be different, but I pray for the very best.
May you last long with your girlfriend.

See you around. Someday.
Till then, Hazril.

- Raudaaah.

2010-08-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

Today, is the best day of my life.
Sealed in my heart.

2010-07-31T22:34:00.001+08:00

I can't explain.
And I won't even try.

2010-07-30T22:45:00.003+08:00

#10- Deceased person you wish you could talk to

My determination, my achievements and my talents,
it all comes from you, Granddaddy.
And I wish you were still with us so I could still tell you
about every little things I do in school,
and how the teachers are always mad at me,
but like how it used to be,
I'm always searching for a way to be the top student of th class so that you'll give me moolahs and presents, and all kinds of flowery praises which always, made my day.

And I don't need any reason to get your attention,
cos you gave that to me every min,
and I'm begging for it now.

Now that you're not here anymore,
everything seems to fall apart,
no more every-weekend picnic by the beach,
no more eating durians on random days,
no more Batam trip every month,
no more presents and extra pocket money,
no more surprises,
and no more determination to work harder.
There's so much you did, no one ever did,
You were my everything,
my only one that feels proud even if it's the littlest thing in life.

I wish you all the best up there where you are,
please come into my dream some time,
cos I really need you here to keep me strong in this cold life.

I thought my world would crumble when you're gone,
But for what you've been to me,
for every single possible reason, the thought of you keeps me breathing,
Imma do you proud granddaddy.
I will be whatever you wished for me.
I will be the strong little girl you always prayed for me to be.

I love you,
and miss you very very much.

xoxo,
Your first pampered grand-daughter,
your mischieveous baby,
and your only Princess.

2010-07-26T19:41:00.002+08:00

#9- Someone I wish I could meet

If there's anyone I could meet, that'll be Katy Perry.

And I'm definitely looking forward to Sing fest, hehehe.
Although it isn't her full concert, but as long as I could get close to her,
that's good enough.
Who knows we could end up being bestfriends. 0.0
I sound psychotic now, but nevermind.

xoxo,
Princess

2010-07-20T20:57:00.012+08:00

Two surprises, Two days.

Came down to RP on Friday,
I miss that school so much hahaha but that aside,
bought a slice of Oreo Cheesecake, together with Noriz, Sharina and Nyna,
and suprised Ira after school for her 19th birthday.

Then of course, she thought that was it.
Who knew she was up for another bigger surprise the next day!
Planned weeks before :)

Initial Plan: Meet-up with Zamri, Nyna, Zan, Isma & Noriz at 830am.
Off to Sentosa and wait anxiously for Wan to bring Ira over.
But of course as usual the bus broke down, th train was crowded, I was sleeep walking, despite the fact Zam woke me up and waited for me at the train station, I was still late. By two hours. But the good thing is, th rain which was pouring heavily in th morning stopped after I came. Bought food (which Nyna & I promised to cook, but we didnt, duh hahaha.) then took th bus over to Sentosa.

Met Wan & Ira over at Siloso Beach.
We being drama queens had no problem acting like we bumped into her.
Apologised that we didnt asked her along, sat down, talk and played Old Maid & Donkey (don't ask why that game. Almost half th time I'm th victim of a Donkey. cb)

Till Ira's sister came with a cake in hand. :)
Glad she was suprised!
Hahaha cos half th time my mouth couldnt keep shut,
almost ruined the plan heh :/

So a pretty cake and a box of cigarette, for your 19th birthday baby.
Notes written on the cigg, well may your wishes come true. ^^
We love you Nur Hazirah :)

Right after 27394629 times of picture-taking,
and games after games of Donkey and Old Maid
we left Sentosa for Clementi Stadium to watch a Soccer match between SAF and Home
since Isma and Zan's brother were playing.

To end off,
I hope you love the day as much as I do.
More of these soon, hopefully.
Gahhhh.

and to my girls, I love you.
This isn't going to be just a memory,
but a perfect therapy to my heart.

2010-07-20T20:31:00.005+08:00

To the girl I love the most,
Happy Birthday.
For those times you brought me back to reality,
how harsh it may be, how hurtful it can get,
but I'm glad you're always there to pick up th pieces with me.
I know after th hatred you expressed, hahaha
you prolly might not want to listen anymore of my kind of stories,
but your birthday, I made a wish to never turn back again.

And you, can count on me.
Anytime babe.
I love you. Really I do.

And to th boy,
Happy 19th birthday too.
For whatever you told me, I'll pray for your happiness.
The best you can ever get.

2010-07-17T23:34:00.004+08:00

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception.

2010-07-17T22:37:00.003+08:00

#8- Favourite Internet friend

I've got one, and gladly much love it.
He listens to me wherever I talk, plays puzzle with me wherever I'm sad.
Get high with me over nonsensical stuff and tell me fantasies nobody would.

Best part: We talk about our big house, inviting hot chicks and hot boys for parties,
having the best kitchen and our most unique living room.
We brat about how other people might envy us, and how we are the coolest of all.
Though we know it's all a figment of our imagination, there's so much happiness we could bring out, we get excited for nothing, (maybe only me)
but I'm glad you always makes me happy.

Though now things change, you've gotten a makcik, and pakcik gotta take care of her and so I'm abandoned, hahahaha you're always my favourite internet friend. :)

Last long with girlfie.
Play challenging puzzle with you soon.
Alif Yakkdush, this is for you.

xx,
Princess

2010-07-14T22:38:00.005+08:00

#7- An ex

Dear B,
Those times when I left you all alone when you needed me,
the pain and misery I inflicted upon you but chose to ignore,
where your days were nothing but pecks of trouble from me,
and while I put your hopes up high, only to crushed it back down,
I'm so glad you still remained my bestfriend today.

I could list down many other ugly things I did,
but when the whole world walks out on me,
you stayed by me and kept me awake.
When I needed you with me, you came over and kept me safe.

That being said, everyone now knows how insane I am to let you go,
though one day, you'll find th girl of your dreams,
she'll be the luckiest of all.

I gotta apologise again for everything,
yet truly blessed that you're still here for me.
It was like a fantasy,
somehow I gotta hit back to reality.

xoxo.
1402.

2010-07-14T22:17:00.007+08:00

I've yet to get hold half of th pictures from Syila's birthday night in Lina's camera.
But here's an update.

Princess's 20th Birthday was nothing but a surprise to her.

Much to her astonishment, although we celebrated it the night before, over at Zirca,
we managed to pull through a birthday chalet for her,
without me making a mess of things (me being me planning half the party)
and hopefully made a great impact in her life.

This 20th, I wished the best and

nothing but extraordinary life ahead of you.
I can never imagine us being this close now,

yet at the same time elated having you part of my happiness and woes.
For all th times I cried, for all those times I needed someone,
and for every little things and gestures from you,
I love you, little girlfriend.

From now, start worrying less, and enjoy your already gone youth
but still young enough to party with me. Hahaha.

xoxo

Always your Princess

2010-07-12T21:21:00.002+08:00

#6- Stranger

I'm quite reluctant to write this one.
Still, here.
Th people I thought I knew so well always turned up to be a stranger to me.
Sometimes, they say it's better not to know then to know
everything and getting all disappointed in every way.

Well, it's true.
Because dear You,
You've been so close yet so far away from me.
I dunno if you're going to realise this is for you
but then again, you've been so much like a stranger to me,
I dunno if you and I can still relate to each other anymore.

But for those times you come over,
the clubbing nights, often making me angry yet happy at the same time.
Just like you, my days were undeniably unpredictable yet so full of adventure
I wish it didn't stop.
But again, thank you for at least coming into my life,
and showing me there's more to life than just the routines.

xoxo,
your once-upon-a-time Princess

2010-07-12T20:58:00.003+08:00

This one, for you.

I don't know if you're going to read this knowing you're angry with me.
I know we haven't met for so long,
things changed after you left the school,
you've been my only motivation for th hell I've put up there,
but hopefully you understand just how much I still love you.

Despite the fact that I turned you down too many a time,
but more than you know, I really want those times we used to just stay doing nothing,
but perfectly having fun.

It's been so many months,
I'm really sorry for last Sunday,
I know you did well baby, and
I'm praying for every inches of th best you can ever get.

Maybe we drifted, but I know,
this friendship I never want to throw it away.
Cos baby, you're my best friend. Always.

2010-07-10T14:28:00.002+08:00

#5- Dreams

Let's all just pray that I pass my A's with flying colours before I start talking about dreams.
Just so you know, I aspire to major in Political Science, or better, Law.
So you'll see that's how I'll climb th ladder to be a billionaire.

A hot husband, and a penthouse to live in,
a beautiful pony to ride under the sunset,
and a big castle for a getaway.
Amin.

Love,
Princess

2010-07-06T13:45:00.002+08:00

#4- Siblings

Back then, it was just Me and You.
Today, it's you, me and th whole world.
We grew up, we've become two different individuals,
but nothing could change the fact that we're sisters.

I get angry over th smallest things,
I've said the meanest thing ever,
but all I wanted was to protect you,
and keep you safe.
Nothing I say now would change anything,
but yknow wherever you need me,
I'm always here to save you from even the cruelest thing in life.

To that, I love you Sister.
Study hard for O's, you're my only one. :)

xoxo,
Princess

2010-07-05T22:54:00.000+08:00

#3- Parents

If there's one thing I couldn't live without, that'll be my Mummy and Daddy.
My brain gets fucked up sometimes,
imagining the worst always, but I'll just shake it off with a bat of an eye.
Cause I'm confident my parents will live with me forever and ever.

No, don't break my bubble now.

There's nothing I can do without you because
Mummy, Daddy,
you've been giving me everything I wanted right from the start.
Though I know I curse and swear, get you through hell all th time,
and wished for th impossible almost eternally
but I'm glad you both love me for who I am,
throwing in chances after chances for all th mistakes I made,
and gave me room to develop as a valuable individual.

Words can never expressed how appreciative I am,
but one day, when I'm a billionaire
I promise to get you a big house, a better life surely.

Money can never equates to love and happiness, but for my parents, it sure does.

xoxo,
Your Princess

2010-07-04T01:24:00.012+08:00

#2- Crush

Dear Crushes,
Let's just say, I exist.
You're a heartthrob.
Burdensome to forget, facile to love.

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you.

This dream could absolutely, come true.
My numero uno.

Love, Princess

2010-07-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

the world better prepare, for when I'm a billionaire.

2010-07-03T01:17:00.006+08:00

#1- Best Friend

Almost all the time, I'm surrounded by many friends, but somewhat feels all alone.
But behind all those uncomfortable feeling,
I have people whom I feel belong to, and I'm glad for that.
I've got to thank God, for the best gift ever, even greater, it's not one, but three.
Three.Best.Friends.

We started off with nothing.
From schoolmates, to classmates, eventually it was our enthusiasm,
a pinch of everything and we got along well. Very well.
Never did I thought our differences glued us all tight,
making everything falls into place, perfectly.
My ten years with you girls bring nothing more than joy and never ending laughters.
I would lie if I say our friendship's flawless, but it's the best anyone could ever ask for.

Glad to know, this friendship, it's bulletproof.

xoxo,
Princess

2010-07-03T01:13:00.009+08:00

Day 1: Best Friend.
Day 2: Crush
Day 3: Parents
Day 4: Sibling, or closest relative.
Day 5: Dreams.
Day 6: A stranger.
Day 7: an Ex.
Day 8: favorite internet friend
Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet.
Day 10: deceased person you wish to talk to.
Day 11: person that has caused you the most pain.
Day 12: Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like.
Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you.
Day 14: Someone you've drifted away from.
Day 15: the person you miss the most.
Day 16: Someone not in your state/country.
Day 17: Someone from your childhood.
Day 18: the person you wish you could be.
Day 19: someone that pesters your mind--good or bad.
Day 20: the one that broke your heart the worse.
Day 21: someone you judged by their 1st impression.
Day 22: someone you want to give a 2nd chance to.
Day 23: the last person you kissed.
Day 24: person that gave you your favorite memory.
Day 25: someone that you know is going thru some terrible times.
Day 26: Last person you made a pinky promise to.
Day 27: friendliest person you knew for only one day.
Day 28: someone that changed your life.
Day 29: the person you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid.
Day 30: reflection in the mirror.

This looks fun, shall start writing all 30 letters in my blog soon.

Inspired from : ngnaaa@blogspot

xoxo

2010-06-24T13:07:00.007+08:00

Books may well be the only best companion for everyone now that exams is in exactly 3 days time. I can prepare to jump down a building soon if I don't start now, because Promo's gonna determine whether I'll take my A's next year.

At a point like this, all I wanna do is to run away for a getaway. Or should I pray for school to be burnt down, so I'll have more time to study?

School's such a whore, I wanna quit.

2010-06-21T17:28:00.003+08:00

It was one of those unexplainable moments of eye contact that is immediately over analyzed and inevitably misread.
Hi H, you've been so great to me these few days, I sometimes think this shouldn't even be happening cos You and I knows a past relationship, if recycled, it'll never be the same.
We should forget about what we planned, forget that we met, and forget what we talked about.
I need to focus on my studies now,
no more distractions, I feel like deleting facebook, privatised my blog and get away from everyone.

What Shawn said bugged me badly, but I guess,
even without anyone else, I know I can live with this.
Alone.

I sound so depressed.
I want to run away.

2010-06-18T21:39:00.005+08:00

Happy Awesome 19th Birthday.

Although you suspected us of having made plans beforehand,
still I hope you like the "Surprise"
Cos things wouldn't have happen, if you don't exist.
And your presence mean alot to the 3 of us.

Hopefully this 19th,
you realised wherever we may be, far or near,
we are always here for you.
We may not meet as often as we used to in primary school (everyday in fact)
but things will never change between us.
We grew up together, and years from now,
we'll see each other walking down the aisle,
then playing with our kids, simply : let's grow old together.

You're my everything, babe.
18TH BABIES: It goes beyond distance,
social status, physical appearance and age limit.
It's a friendship everyone wants, but they could never have.
Because we are who we are.

XOXO

2010-06-14T11:40:00.005+08:00

This holiday, I've literally shut myself down from everyone who forces me to study. Yan just reminded me exams starts in exactly 14 days. and Ive yet to start anything at all. Almost all th time, I've succeeded in doing last min revision and still getting through it all well,
but I'm not sure if I can make it this time.

School's getting too much of a hassle for me, everytime (I think only twice) I tried to study, my eyelids got heavy and I needed th bed badly. My classmates went to school for revisions and extra classes while I was at home either sleeping, chalet (playing games) or watching movies.
How nowww, brown cow?

I wanna go ride ponies, and party.
Perhaps play pretend and sing till th end.
It's tiring and school is very much a hardwork.
No motivation. At All.

Someone, anyone, Help?
Plus the beautiful rainy weather is too comfortable, it keeps making me feel sleepy.

2010-06-12T14:50:00.010+08:00

I'm halfway studying when Facebook interrupted my thoughts,
and I decided it wouldn't kill to blog for a few minutes before I start mugging again.

Just a side thought: studying is very much a hardwork.
And I wish Chalet with the Touch Girls would go on and on,
we'll have so much fun.

I guess that was th best adventure I ever had with th girls.
It beats all the outings, the mini barbeque sessions and all of our trainings.
Coach brought Cheryl, Alyssa and I around Mustaffa Centre (for the first time).
Believe it or not.
Well, got to admit it's cheap, but it's a little scary there.

Then over at Downtown East, we went over to Ehub,
lunched, and being hyperactive me,
I actually influenced the other 3 to play Ice bumper with me,
and so we did. And we had fun! Hahaha
Except for the fact that my ice bumper was a loser, it spinned round and round for 3 bloody times, there were lucky they don't have to clean after my puke.

Then we started with the food to BBQ, before every other Touch girls arrive.
Heh, ate and played taboo, awards presentation and picture taking.

The girls played Monopoly Deal.
I sat down and stared. ( I still think it's a stupid game )
Was having a fever that night, but I managed to pull through when everyone decided to go over to Zirca. heheheheh.

Coach drove us all 8 of us, squeezed in her car to party,
got to admit, even with Bieber's "Baby" Song being played twice that night,
we had great fun dancing and running away from ugly guys. Hahahaha.
And with my two babies, Alyssa and Cheryl and my girls; everything was good. ♥

Then after 3 killer hours of dancing, we decided to watch the sunrise at Changi,
which apparently the sun did not rise or either we're at the wrong side of Singapore.
Seriously, does th sun rise on the East or West?
They moved off from there only after I started whining how boring it's getting and I would rather go back to th chalet to sleep.

Back at the chalet, while everyone else is preparing to sleep at 8am in the morning,
Coach and I were the only two alive and happy kids runnning around the chalet, throwing balls and singing to th songs on our phone, dancing and annoying those who were about to sleep.
Lol, but guess what?
We were the first two to sleep right after hahahaha.

Next day, we decided to just lie on the beds and talk.
Too tired to walk, too sleepy to eat and too sunny to go anywhere.
So many things to talk about, between Kathy, Alyssa, Coach and I.
The rest went back home first. (Suckers)
Muahahaha

At the end of the day,
no one knows, but this chalet changed my mind on something I've already set on doing.
And I'm glad I had a great time,
I'm glad I enjoyed it.

Lastly, it was nice bcos the chalet gave me time to catch up with Alyssa and Cheryl,
understand them more and indeed we gave each other a little more layers of comfort and care.
You'll never know how much you beautiful girls mean to me.
More to come, you'll see.
♥

Oryx, we own the world.

2010-06-07T00:19:00.007+08:00

I've always been interested in Law and Management,
yet every single time I get an opportunity to pursue,
for some reason, I turn it down for something else.
Then again, it's always something memorable
I could consider as a second choice career.

Political Science wasn't one of my choices until I tumbled upon
Singapore Model United Nations 2010.

While I had th chance to, with all the other schools and NUS,
I had great time debating, researching over territories and it's political views,
and making different nerve-wrecking, heart-wrenching speeches over and over again for a week.
It wasn't easy after months of training, datelines to meet and
burning the midnight oil, now that it's over,
I wish it could still go on.

Special thanks to Suz, for constantly encouraging me to speak up (and th numerous gossips we shared) during the conference. Surely, this event is making me suffer from withrawal MUN symptoms, I want to be there again. :/

Pardon me for being naggy,
but SMUN taught me plentiful valuable treasures I definitely brought home with.
The friends I made within that one tensed week and the topics brought up,
it certainly broaden my mind, taught me uncountable intellectual lessons
and it pleases me to realise it changed me somehow, maturely.

This delegate of Iraq, would like to thank UN General Assembly '10

For all their tremendous effort, the fun times passing notepapers during sessions,
the after-work-gone-wild Social Event and of course the successful plenary session.
(We're th best committee, confirm. Hahaha)

This delegate as of now, shall close debate.
Till we meet again. ♥

2010-06-06T14:03:00.001+08:00

For now, books may well be th only true magic to life.

2010-05-30T23:51:00.004+08:00

I managed to spare some time together with the 18th babies, for some photoshoot makeover over at Raffles Place, and I'm glad we had a great time. Although we refused to pay too much money on it, we promised to go over again for a bridal photoshoot perhaps next month.
It will be much better and fun. heheh.

That being said, I've been having much fantastic outings on top of this with a few friends, I wish for more but school consumes 3/4 of my time.
Sometimes I wish I have a magic wand, I could control time, do whatever I want and
yes: I want a complete new life.

My new life; I wouldn't party or be the stupid annoying me, I shall stick to my game plan. Study and do well. A new school perhaps. Somewhere far from all the dramas.
Work and make everyone proud.
But hey, like that will ever happen.

Then again, I'm talking all crap.
I think I'm getting depressed with so many things running through my mind,
so many things to do, assignments and datelines,
and just near to a month before Mid-Year starts and I know nuts.

A cranky post indeed,
but well at least this space formed a purpose.
Not that anyone reads my blog, it feels dead here by the way.

2010-05-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

It gets annoying when the day you anticipated for,
is the day you want to avoid at all cost.
Depressing much.

On a random note, I'm afraid of failures. Very.Afraid.

2010-05-23T02:30:00.002+08:00

Because you're my sister,
I always want the best for you.
Happy Birthday, my dear.

I may be very egoistical all th time in your life,
irritating much, and perhaps always trying to rip everything off your heart,
but I love you. Really, I do.
(Though I'm not gonna change my attitude, cos I like it that way)
But still, study well knowing you're more hardworking, you can do better than me *roll eyes.
I hope you love the presents/surprise we family gave it to you.

Meanwhile, enjoy your stay at Brunei later,
well, get ~~yourself~~ me a rich guy back here, as promised! (Oh, tak eh?)

Muahaha, love you.
Xoxo.

2010-05-19T19:47:00.006+08:00

After my A's:

I wanna travel to London, and enjoy dancing under the rain,
Fly over to Paris, for more shopping,
Having Fika in Copenhagen
and buy Matryoska dolls in Russia.

Perhaps you could come along,
enjoying this little adventure with me.

And when I get my degree, we could live all the way up in Manhattan,
happily in my dreamhouse,
a fat cat and a pony in the backyard as companion,
drive around in a convertible and laugh through the air of joy.
Hehehehehe.

You have no idea how fast my heart is racing as I'm typing this. ♥

2010-05-18T00:00:00.001+08:00

Dear bestfriend,

You've been nothing but a whole bundle of happiness to me.
Well things may have changed now, we don't meet as often as we do anymore,
but I'm anticipating for the time when we could relive those beautiful moments we used to spent together.

Those random visits to each other's house, (my house in particular)
with doughnuts, and many picture-taking time,
dressing up for no-reasons-at-all,
going over to Esplanade at 2am in the morning and getting tricked by the taxi driver,
alot of our meet-ups and gossips about everyone,
and those times when you sticked by me even if I was the worst girlfriend ever.
And to all those little hugs you give me each time I'm down,
I'm looking forward for more throughout our lives together.

Because you live girl,
you've been nothing but a wonderful joy to me.

This friendship you'll see, is nothing but extraordinary. ♥
Happy 19th Birthday.

Love,
Your Princess.

2010-05-17T20:35:00.006+08:00

Dear boy, I know I've been saying this so much.
If we get married, we'll have a penthouse,
lighted buildings right infront of our eyes,
and everybody under us.
And it'll be nothing but just two of us. Me and You.

But if that's too much,
this would suffice.
I'll do a little gardening,
call the housekeeping girl to keep the house clean,
perhaps a fat cat to keep us company,
and maybe, just maybe, we could have a daughter to share the joy.

We could go around the world, Paris, Copenhagen, Russia and London,
then we could pretend we're the king and queen of the world,
I'll be Bella, you'll be the handsome beast,
and like the never ending fairytales,
ours will be a reality of happily ever after.

Oh not to forget, I'll have Marleenah as my neighbour,
but I think we should keep a distance, cause you know what will happen when we mix with each other too much. :P

Xoxo.

2010-05-17T20:07:00.003+08:00

To my two beautiful girls,
Noriz & Raidah:

Happy 19th Birthday,
I don't really actually know what to say to you girls,
except for the fact that we may not see each other often,
yet the friendship's going on strong.
I've always been afraid that, while I won't be with you girls in school anymore,
things might change.
But throughout this year, I'm certain things haven't really changed and
I still love you from the start that I've known you.

To that, I wish you more happy returns,
and more to come for us.
I love you two pretty girls. ♥

xoxo,
Princess.

2010-05-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

I’m not looking to fall in love. I’m not even necessarily looking for a boyfriend right now. All I really want is to find a nice, good guy I can text late at night, joke around with, and be stupid with. Someone I can easily talk to, someone I can be my total self around and not mind at all. A guy I can waste Friday nights with, laugh with, and have fun with. Someone who’s not perfect, but understands me, you know?

Is that really too much to ask for?

2010-05-09T12:52:00.001+08:00

i want to run away from everything.
and sleep my troubles away.

2010-05-07T23:38:00.004+08:00

WAZZZUUPPPP * screams annoying orange tone.
Call this lame, but littlest things like this can make me laugh.
I used to anticipate the weekends, and go "TGIF!!",
but now Friday just means more assignments,
more deadlines to meet and lesser time to study for exams.

Reality starts sinking in, on top of schoolwork,
there's so much more things to completeeeee *breathes.
I could really use a wish right now.

Everyone's partying tonight,
and tell me about it I'm at home reading pages of SMUN notes,
then I gotta wake up early for school tomorrow.
Sucks, big time.

2010-05-03T21:16:00.004+08:00

Omg I just did a poster that was due a month ago for History,
and I'm quite impressed by it. Lol.
Though it's a little too colourful for our prime minister, but heck. Hahaha.
Here's th link, heh.
Glogster

And I had a great time at the zoo today with Coachie.
Half the time we didnt know where we were,
we were quarreling on the names of the animals,
gossiping and having a lot of fun.
I'm glad I went on a date with her hahaha or I'll probably die cos school's ripping me off my life.

Heh, I ♥ ponies, don't you?

2010-04-30T18:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it feels like there's so much in your head, when there's nothing at all.
Little things turn out to be bigger than expected,
unpredictability kicks in, and everything starts to get all messy.

I'll be away for the weekend.
Till then.

Don't look for perfection if you want to be happy, but rather live up the moments beyond its imperfectionity.

2010-04-25T17:47:00.005+08:00

It's amazing,
looking back, realising how different each of us were individually.
We had nothing to begin with,
but certainly, today,
Oryx became, "One mind One team."

This Jc League has been an amazing journey.
Throughout, I've gotten the best, the worst and
yet I'm willing to learn and venture more into it,
because you girls have turned this game into nothing,
but a wholesome of fun.

Somehow somewhere, along the way,
I fell in love with th team, so much.

Oryx ♥

2010-04-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

I waited forever, for today.
But it all end up once again, a dissappointment.

2010-04-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

I've finished ranting over at my livejournal, it's time to update something here.
Have you ever once,
felt like everything falls into place,
nothing's heavy on you,
and anything seems perfect?

Because I feel like, out of the 18 years of my life,
there was only a day like that.
I refused to accept everything,
I get pressured over little things,
nothing's right and I'm always expecting for more.

I miss being in primary school,
how I used to beg my mum to send me to school early,
so my friends and I could share jokes and play hopscotch.
At that point of time, there's nothing much to worry,
we get little homework, all I have to do in school: behave.

Yet now everything seems complicated,
I gotta let go this night life,
I got to stay away from shopping malls and entertainment studios,
I shall study and have no.life.
Because I promised myself, and everyone else to do well.

Anyone wants to give me any motivation?
Pfft.

2010-04-16T22:49:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty depressed lately.
There's so much going on hahaha but I don't want to always post emo entries LOL.
Project work is bitchier than I thought, it makes me feel sucky all th time.
I've got to really do well for my mid-years,
the pressures on and it's been a week since I clubbed.
I should be proud, I was home on a wed and friday night, s.t.u.d.y.ing.
I mean of course a little break here and there watching Gossip Girls & Glee.

School started for those polytechnic students,
I kind of miss wearing home clothes every morning,
bring my heavy laptop to school, get this ass to walk quickly up the hill to my class,
and stoned the whole day and still get to Year 2 easily.
But MI's different, I've got to work my freaking ass off before I could get to th next level.
Now who said I was being smart with th choice I made?
Lol, though I'm happy with what I have now.

My Berry Princess is doing fine,
I dropped her in class just now, my heart almost came out and I nearly died.
But I promise that accident won't happen again. Geez.

Tomorrow's another two matches for Touch Rugby JC league,
hopefully all go well, we'll be better tomorrow I'm sure. Heh.
Coach just shoo-ed me to sleep, shall update more the next time.

Xoxo. Ps. Try this: Hum while you pinched your nose! hahahaha.

2010-04-13T23:49:00.005+08:00

I want to quit school,
throw away those books,
hang out with my girlfriends,
and party everynight.

They say, life's pretty easy if you keep it simple.
but hey no, School isn't ABC to start with.
and I couldn't be bothered anymore.

2010-04-04T14:52:00.005+08:00

Dian & Natazsha's BBQ Suprise Party started off messily,
but they say, sometimes when things go wrong, there'll be something unexpectedly right that turns it all around. What more can I say! Shall meet you girls soooon for a picnic.
I love you peoplezzzz so much.

I've got alot of datelines to meet, project work is insane,
school's getting hectic. But I promised my dad I would study well, he bought me a blackberry & my long awaited dslr camera. hehehe. Imma happy girl.

Now, I've got things to fulfil. Meanwhile, take care people.
Princess loves you xoxo

2010-03-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

18 things you could do now that you're Legal
1. You are now freee to buy anything you want, legally.
2. You can smoke publicly without getting caught.
3. Buy drinks, drink, get drunk no one cares cause you're already, again, legal.
4. Party non-stop every weekends.
5. Going home late after 11 without the police questioning you.
6. You could now get a driving license soon, perhaps you can drive me around someday.
7. Start signing your own letters.
8. You can gamble, just don't get burnt!
9. Get a phone and sign up a contract without parental consent.
10.You can try applying for stewardess, if your height allows you too.
11. Go sign up for plans with the bank for there's no more edusave top-up for you.
12.Watch porn without feeling guilty.
13.Pawn any gold items. ^^
14.You can change your name legally.
15.Sue someone you hate and sign a legal document.
16.You can get a hotel room.
17. Then you can adopt a child or probably make one.
18. Have the freedom you didn't have before.

But hey, being 18 isn't just all fun. Welcome to misery, and I'll say there's so much more responsibilities you're taking up, much more things you've got to handle maturely, somehow somewhere people take you more seriously than before. The mistakes you made, and more to come, take it as a lesson learnt each time. For that, your 18th, be trustworthy and responsible, mature yet keen to do more than just what it takes in life.

But please, don't lose that bubbly attitude and those cheerful jokes and high-up spirits you rubbed us all with, because you made me smile brighter. For always being there, and please continue being there, you could always count on me too babe,

I love you.

Because you live girl,
you made my world a brighter place.
Xoxo.

Told you I had alot to say.

2010-03-28T12:50:00.005+08:00

There's so much I want to say, but I couldn't figure out where to start from.
I should simply just tell myself life is beautiful the way it is,
but sometimes there's so many little things in life that grants you for more.

Like how I impulsively spent $300 in 2 hours, alone. How stupid.
And Daddy topped up another thousand into my account,
but I'm simply just being very stubborn, taking cabs through and fro.
How I have schools every other day except the weekends and I choose to skip schools on days when I feel school isn't important, sleeps in class wherever I'm sleepy (just in case you didn't know, it's like all the time) and how I sometimes just want to get away from everything else but myself.

Plus don't get me started on how things always happen at inappropriate times, how someone would get admitted into the hospital when I'm having a chalet, how another person could have passed away on a day when I have an important match to go. And how someone's birthday falls on the day I'm having exams, tsk.

And no, I'm not complaining I'm just saying how life could be unfair because things like this could just bring me down. In split seconds.

Okay maybe I should really stop rambling.
Life is beautiful the way it is. Period.

2010-03-25T18:36:00.002+08:00

May your soul rest in peace, Atok.
For everything and anything, thank you.
My prayers will always be with you.

May God always be with you.
Amin.

~~xoxo.~~
oh tak boleh eh? :'(

2010-03-24T22:16:00.007+08:00

Be it from the start till the end,
I miss clubbing with the party people.
I may not be with you guys all th time,
I may be partying with some other people you loaf,
I may forget to call you up to party with me,
but hey, people whom I started partying with,
You people are whom I treasure most,
You guys are the reason for my excitement,
You babies are just the only people I miss so much.
Be it partying, be it joking or to just sitting right from nowhere having talks.

Those little chalk talks we had, those heartwarming words, the little supper and having each other by our side, that's so much more than just a party friend. And I love you.

I miss partying ehhhhhh, got to skip partying this week,
apparently I felt the touch of an angel (-.-) I shall just
do a little practice on Maths which I have yet to start on since the start of the year,
and start thinking for Project Work,
hello A's this year, I just gotta focus.

2010-03-22T22:30:00.001+08:00

2010-03-20T17:56:00.003+08:00

Last night :
It was pretty last minute.
Planned out everything, but we went the other way.
But hey, I'm glad I had fun.
Awesome shit. ♥

I shifted, but it feels different.
Headed back to Bishan still, because I really love th neighbourhood lol
met F early in the morning,
played games, talked and I'm glad I had him by my side.

I dunno what is it about you, that makes me wanna try.
Yet again,

But I've confidence, we'll be okay.

2010-03-18T20:51:00.002+08:00

I haven't started studying,
everyone's stressing over homeworks and exam results,
how this one week holiday is nothing but crappy.

Now am I supposed to be guilty?
Cos I've yet to touch the books,
and I think this holiday's awesome.
I'm busy with everything else but studies.
HAHA.

Anyway,
Happy 20th Jerrica Darling.
You've been great, and party together again soon.
Xoxo

To Hazril too,
Happy 20th, hopefully yesterday night was great for you.
Make this year worthwhile and meaningful for yourself and your family.

2010-03-16T20:56:00.003+08:00

I miss

meeting up with Z every weekend.
Dian, my partner in crime,
my little 18th babies I grew up with,
S, the boy who talks about Stitch all the time
my darling Norjannah Norhashim,
going for gigs with those skankies,
sitting calmly and quietly just with you, F.

In fact, I miss living the world without caring about anything.
At all.

2010-03-15T19:27:00.002+08:00

I actually have so much to say,
but somehow I just feel like keeping it all to myself.
Period.

2010-03-08T12:00:00.001+08:00

HEY TO MY 19 YEAR OLD GIRL,
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAY NAQEAH(!!)

It's damn hard to get a nice decent picture of you.
(Though I have alot of your stupid annoying pictures in my laptop)
I decided not to post any, I'm just being nice because it's your birthday.
Hahaha, but heyy it's been nice knowing you for alr a year now,
and I'm anticipating graduating with you next year.

You've been hardworking this year, so continue on studying smart.
Thanks for all the time you spent teaching me what I missed out in class sleeping,
writing notes when I skip school,
and tolerate my bloody nonsense when everyone else refuses to listen.

You never know this, but I appreciate every little thing you do.
Things wouldn't be so easy soon, with our A's coming,
and the little childish acts each of us have in ourselves,
but I know and I'm sure we'll get through this. Together.

To that, I love you Naq. :)

2010-03-07T20:06:00.005+08:00

Hey little sister,
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAAAY.
Our friendship started way back 3 years ago, and I'm glad things havent changed.
Except for the fact that I have lesser private time with you,
little gossips and mischievious acts we used to plan together,
but I'm glad you're still the same little sister I love since the start of our awesome journey.

I might not be here for you all the time,
might be a little in my own world sometimes,
but you know, wherever, you've got me at your back.
Your 19: make it the best teenage year before it turns 2.
Somehow somewhere, over the rainbow,
I'm always happy to see the colours in your life, and the happiness kicking in.
You've been so strong,
stay there, your Barbie girls love you. (:
And I hope the little small surprise you got there shows how much you mean to us.
Though it was a short one.
We'll meet soon for moreeee of everything. :)

2010-03-02T22:51:00.003+08:00

I was dozing off in class,
Sure, Right timing. Mdm C was asking something like,
who's a significant women to you or something like that,
and seriously, I dunno what I was thinking, I shouted,
"GANDHI".

Now tell me how stupid was that.
Tsk, more reasons for Naqeah to laugh at me in class. -.-

Oh, and my small brother damn cute.

Read this storybook, in malay.
"Kucing gemuk itu makan durian sepanjang hari."
"Kucing gemuk itu tidur sepanjang hari."
"Kucing gemuk itu..."
Repeatedly.

I was laughing, what was the author thinking siol.
And yes, Yusri reads it cutely.
So I was giggling at him,
my brother stared at me, and said,
"It's not funny."
and he's only 5!!
If Dian sees this,
she's going to give me two thumbs up cos she always gangs up with that small boy.
And I miss you babe, alot. :(

Lol, pray that tomorrow's match, Friday's friendly @LFS,
and Sunday Touch Rug competition will go well,
cos I want to do well.

2010-02-28T13:55:00.005+08:00

Coach's URM, 3rd Birthday Party was crazyy.
Theme: Dress like her. (But obviously, I didnt)
Location: Chateau Plaza

It was good, from the food.
The companions, to the games and the dance specially for Coach.
It was all we need to get back on track from our exams.

Next week gonna be hectic, we'll have Touch training everyday except Tuesday,
but I'm anticipating it, heh.
Friendly Match @LFS, then OASIS on Sunday.
We girls know we gonaa kick some ass. (:

Party on Friday, *squeals.
Then like finally, Chalet with the party people the next week, heh heh.
I'm enjoying like I'm done with A's. HAHAHAHA.

2010-02-25T22:23:00.004+08:00

"If sadness is what happens when you turn your anger inwards, hope that's what happens when you turn your happiness, outwards."

Quoted from Naqeah.
God knows if she really made it up herself, as claimed. Lol
Exams are over, I'm glad.
I.need.a.break.

2010-02-24T19:22:00.002+08:00

Some days I feel broke inside, but I just won't admit.
If you call, I would tell you how much that I've missed you.
Since you've been away.

1 more paper to go,
Please please please let it be easy.

2010-02-23T17:03:00.004+08:00

Someone came and said,
"Sometimes you made it look like you can't cope your own life without him."

And that sounds duper pathetic.
Because I think he's right.

I should stop pretending that I'm that strong,
because till now, I know I have yet to get over it.
It could have been our 5th this year.

Why is it that everyone made it sound so easy except myself?
I need someone, badly. now.

2010-02-19T22:05:00.001+08:00

Shall hear from me once exams are over.
If I survive.

Till then,
xoxo

2010-02-17T19:52:00.003+08:00

Things haven't been good around me.
Everything seems to fall apart, it feels like the responsibility are all on me.
It's hard struggling school, family & friends altogether.

But somehow, how busy I get,
Get this, you girls could come to me anytime for help or to talk.
My studies seems to be my top priority now,
but who would be happy to know my girls are crying on the other side?
I'm here, you know, anytime.
When it comes to this, you girls would always be the first.
Because without you girls, that's what made my world lonely.

I've got no one but you people to hang on to.
When I studied till late at night everyday, you girls are th reason why I'm still here persevering.

Looking back from the past,
it feels like every single step I took was a mistake.
Who would have thought taking A levels would have been easy.
Who would have said joining Silat means
no straining of relationship between you and your family.
And who gave a damn when I said I'm really struggling to get through the day.

It's been you all along H, that made me stronger by day.
You've been the one I've depended on 3 years ago.
Now that you're not here, I'm all alone struggling.
I'm not seeking sympathy, just that I feel things have been different.
Really really different.
and I don't know how long more I could take this. Alone.

3 years ago. and I'm still here.
There's no more you, there's no more anniversaries.
Because I could never think of anyone who could ever replaced you.

Hey girls
I need you here close to me, because you girls are all that I have.

2010-02-14T12:32:00.001+08:00

"There comes a point in your life, when you realise who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. There's always a reason why the people in your past didnt make it to your future"

Happy Valentine's Day (:

2010-02-05T23:01:00.003+08:00

My world seems to be revolved around those lengthy notes.
My migraine is not even helping at all,
it keeps coming at a point when I really need to study.
More piled up workload will bring me insane any moment.
Seriously, I'm trying to push myself to study every minute I could.

Put aside partying, I haven't met my girls for ages,
I think they'll probably forget me soon.
Sheesh, I miss every single one of them so much.

A levels, come early please.
I wanna get it over and done with, do well and start a new chapter of life.
Not that I'm dreading school, just that the workload is unbearable.
I barely have 3 hours of sleep, everyday.
Plus touch Rugby thrice a week, then silat, twice a week,
just kill me.

2010-02-01T20:31:00.004+08:00

I find marriages scary.
It's a whole new heavy responsibilty to take up,
brand new challenges and there's so much to uphold.
I swear I saw the nervous look on my cousin's face while getting wed.
Hahaha.

Oh well, at least this little love things keeps you holding on in life.
Afterall, your life partner would be there for you throughout everything.
InsyaAllah. :)

Abg Ewan's wedding was good.
Met up with the cousins and more catching up time with them.

Marleenah, this is for you.
For knowing me for a year alr, and still asked if I got a sister. HAHA.

More pictures on Multiply (:

2010-01-31T22:33:00.005+08:00

I did nothing more than a mere glance into my Maths notes during the weekend.
I feel seriously guilty but
my eyelids are heavy, I need my rest.
Good night world.

Remember me in your sleep, tonight. ;)

2010-01-28T20:23:00.005+08:00

Today was the first day of orientation,
happy because I got to see Vicknesh and Dian again, heh.
and cute boys from ACS, keke.

I've got myself a new eyecandy,
that'll gives me a little more motivation to come to school HAHA.
Came school late today, managed to skip GP and Econs,
two of my most boring subjects, where the teachers would go on and on non-stop
Thank God it rained today, so no running for PE. Two thumbs up.
Then dinner with Naqeah and Shafiqah. (:

Last day of schoool tmrw! For the week.
I'm excited for the weekend to come.Yay!
No waking up early, no teachers and their naggings,
a little more revision time on my own and PAAAARTY, people! hehehe.

Ps. I miss my party people, my girls especially. (:

2010-01-24T23:16:00.009+08:00

How is it that my weekends flew so fast,
but weekdays with school seems like a never-ending story?

Supperclub on a weekend was good.
Although we intended to go Zirca,
the boys got rejected there, lol so there goes our plan.
But th girls promised to go again on ladies night, heh ^^

Met up at Syila's place,
Then over again to Syila's for a sleepover.
Heh, and her mum cooked us lunch, damn delicious.
Really. Be jealous.

I can't wait for March to come, chalet for all 8 of us,
along with Yan's birthday celebration. Heh.
Please let it come fast,
by then, Touch Rugby JC League will be over, Silat @Malaysia striked off,
and the load from common test is gone.
Then I can start breathing normally again, relieved.

Before Z went back to camp,
met him to pass him his stuffs I bought for him,
I decided there's alot we got to catch up on.
So yes. Thank you for lunch, movie and for fun&laughter. (:

On a random note,
A cousin of mine from Indonesia came to Singapore today, now over at my house.
My house seems crowded now lol.
I dread Monday = 20 rounds around the stadium,
morning run compulsory for all sports CCA, then eventually PE lesson.

Please let the week fly fast. I love my weekends.
There's just so much my body can take. :/